Version-Of-The-Truth

(~Christmas~)

If all were now as it was when
Christ came to save us all,
And Christmas Day were Christmas Day,
Not some day we recall;

And in the East we saw a star
Exceptionally bright,
And wondered what was going on
That ordinary night;

If God were walking in our midst,
Saying what He said,
And we were not His followers,
But trod where He would tread;

And we were witness to His word
And looked Him in the eye,
And found His message interesting
But too bizarre to buy;

If we were in Jerusalem
And watched Him bear the cross,
And suffered with His suffering
But feared to share His loss;

And saw Him die in agony,
And wondered at it all,
And this were something we ourselves,
Not printed books, recall:

What would be the difference,
Had we known Him that way,
Between the faith we feared to feel
And what we fear today?

-December 23, 2005

(~My Friends~)

You've changed, you're different,
Nothing is going to be the same,
I'm trying to detour my thoughts,
To keep my self from going insane.

And I know God won't help me,
but I've got no where else to turn,
Love just brings more tears,
Oh, why can I never learn?

He's giving up, Good luck,
Well, maybe so should I,
I don't know, I'm stuck,
Falling, can only cry.

And as this darkness closes in,
I'm searching for a light,
Can't find it in this place so black,
Stuck in eternal night.

God, I know you're out there,
Please reach out your hand,
I know I'm trying to hold on,
But you slip through my fingers as sand.

I know that I should give up,
Yet, I know you care,
Please, how can I help him?
God, you're somewhere out there.

The only thing I care about now,
Is whether he's happy or not,
And I'm praying and losing,
And God, I'm really caught.

Please help me not to fall,
Though this isn't my time to be lifted,
Please help Mike, Please God, I beg,
And the tables of time have shifted.

He says nothing matters,
He says no body does care,
I don't know what to do,
All I can do is be there.

And Lord, please guide Shaundra,
She just lost two a friend,
I hope Mike stays with us,
I pray this isn't the end.

I don't know if it would be better,
If i were just not here,
I know the Bible says not to worry,
But, Jesus, I'm drowning in fear.

Lord, I ask for Mike,
Carry him now, I pray,
And now this poem will last,
Let him see another day.

Thursday, January 6th, 2005

(~Another Broken Home~)

To live and not to breathe,
Is to die in tragedy,
To run, to run away,
To find what you believe,
And I leave behind,
This hurricane of fucking lies,
I lost my faith to this,
This town that don't exist

So I run,
I run away

To the light of masochists,
And I leave behind,
This hurricane of fucking lies,
And I walked this line,
A million and one fucking times,
But not this time

I don't feel any shame,
I won't apologize

When there ain't nowhere you can go,
Running away from pain,
When you've been victimized,
Tales from another broken home

Friday, January 28th, 2005

(~This is The Hour~)

You can't just be there to be there,
Quit wallowing in self-dispair,
If you love, show me that you care,
Shit like that don't get you anywhere.

I'm not drifting, say something sweet,
Gotta get out, ejection seat,
You say you love me, but it's love discreet,
We're playing music to a different beat.

So come on, come on, you are my friend,
Please tell me, tell me, what do you intend?
You want it so badly, it's gotta depend,
Say it now, or this is the end.

So hold your head up, stop wounding your skin,
Come to me now, where've you been?
Let me see, the child within,
This now was the original sin.

I'm here and you are not alone,
The only one. Who is unknown?
Is this a friendship you did postpone?
Why do you think you're on your own?

I'll show you the way, this is the hour,
Come on, come out, you have the power,
To get up, Get on, before the world does devour,
And so goes the final tick, of the clock tower.

Monday, January 17th, 2005

(~It's all in my head~)

My blood flows gold,
My heart pumps black,
What can I do,
To bring my life back?

My scars scream red,
My veins plead cut,
Once you’re there,
There’s no way back.

My body it aches,
My eyes flutter closed,
I slump on the floor,
Away the pain goes.

The sparkle is gone,
There is no way to fight,
It stole my soul,
I can’t find the light.

Saturday, February 12th, 2005

(~To Dance With The Beautiful Girl~)

Nobody wants
To dance with the beautiful girl
Nobody thinks
That she is really beautiful-
She runs her tongue across her
painted lips
Touches her hair, and
Smiles from her safe place

Nobody sees
The thoughts of the beautiful girl
Nobody knows
The place where she is hiding
She doesn’t seem to notice as they
All stand back
Her dress slips off her shoulder
She’s dancing on the
Dance floor all alone

Nobody likes
The scars on the beautiful girl
Nobody wants
To see the pain that clearly
She lets them show like patchwork
Foreign patterns on her body
They make a startling contrast
With her sharp stilletto heels

Nobody dares
Get close to the beautiful girl

Saturday, February 12th, 2005

(~Not To Tell The Real Thing~)

And I tell myself it’s helping,
And I tell myself I’m doing the right thing,
And I tell myself not to open up,
Not to tell the real thing,
But everyday someone new asks,
And everyday they say can I see?
I smile and just laugh it all off,
But then I cough,
And I choke on my tears,
The angels above are trying to shine,
I know I keep them on a tight line,
Time rolls on by,
All I can do is sigh,
And I shrug it off,
I shrug it off,
I always shrug it off,
And I tell myself it’s helping,
And I tell myself I ‘m doing the right thing,
And I tell myself not to open up,
Not to tell the real thing,
I hide in my cold hands,
They hold together like lonely bands,
My only friends,
I don’t want this brought to the end,
All of their tears,
Always screaming-they hurt my ears,
My heart is untouched and bare,
All I ever see is one long lifeless stare,
And I try so hard not to end it,
And I sometimes try to hold on-even if it is a little bit,
All I am is fear,
And I am always here,
I never go away,
But I don’t ever stay,
So if I seem lost,
Just give me a tear and a toss,
I’ll fall and my skin will bleed,
But that is all that I ever seem to need,
A drop of red,
Always helps clear up my head,
You don’t realize-you don’t know,
You’d never understand if I told you though,
So sometimes I wonder why I even try,
It’s not enough to just cry,
I need something much deeper,
And I think this one is a definite keeper,
And I tell myself it’s helping,
And I tell myself I’m doing the right thing,
And I tell myself not to open up,
Not to tell the real thing,
Time has come-and it has gone,
And this has been way too long,
I think maybe it’ time to wave good-bye,
But before I go-I’ll give it one more try,
Oh hell-forget that,
One last final sigh,
The end is near,
Can you feel it too my dear?
And I tell myself it’s helping,
And I tell myself I’m doing the right thing,
And I tell myself not to open up,
Not to tell the real thing.

Saturday, February 12th, 2005

(~Just A Poem... Sorta~)

These words are spoken
One after another,
And no one can see,
The girl who is me,
Try as you might
I put up a fight
I'm sorry
I've stopped
Only scars remain,
Don't worry about me,
I'm still here,
You see,
I'm beautiful,
I'm ugly,
I'm here.
I think that's all that matters.
And I've stopped.

Saturday, February 12th, 2005

(~Poems Help Me Cope~)

Cutting, Burning, Pleasing, Purging,
things that I’m ultimately urging.
The will for life, only confined by a knife.
Courage to fight, using all my might.
Always forgive, but never forget,
to feel means to hurt, so I will not let.
Things I did, things that I’ve done,
pills to take, to calm my emotions.

Driven, unwilling thoughts appear,
of pain, of anger, of fear.
Helping my sorrows go away,
until something happens,
it’s just another day.
But for now, let death do us part,
I’ll never forget, you’re always in my heart

Saturday, February 12th, 2005

(~Bye-Bye best friend~)

As we stare,
with knowing eyes,
Ripping through,
the fatal lies.

You will never,
fully see,
How much you are
breaking me.

We were friends,
now demolished,
Scraping the
Nicely polished.

Harmful phrases
make me fall,
And tragic words,
End it all.

Tuesday, February 15th, 2005

(~And Look Down On Me~)

I wish I could bleed
I wish I could see
What it’s like to be you
And look down on me

I wish I could know
I wish I could go
To the Heavens above
Where the time runs slow

If only I could bleed
If only I could see
What it’s like to be you
And look down on me

I would look down and
In pity I would bless
I would fix up my life
I would clean up the mess

If I were you I would love more than you
If I were you I would bleed more than you
If I were you I would like to see
What it’s like to be you
And look down on me

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005

(~This~)

Trying to erase
the scars
Written on
her arm.
Blade now bloody,
Pleading eyes,
Broken heart,
In disguise.
Falling tear
Wiped away,
Pushing through,
Another day.
Battle fought,
She did lose,
Breaking, bleeding,
Another bruise.
Inhale, exhale
Hold your breath,
Kill all peace
And awaken death.
Death bed,
Dirt mound,
This is the life,
That was never found.

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005

(~Happy Geek~)

So here I am, sitting
Alone in the dark again
What a perfect fucking metaphor
I'm so tired of this
I know I have no reason to feel this pain but
Of course I can't stop it now

It's nights like this when
I don't want to hear solutions
And my dreams just tease me
With promises of a better tomorrow
That isn't today yet
And patience isn't one of my virtues

What, you mean this isn't normal for me?
Either I'm damn good at hiding this or
I spend a lot more time than I like to think
Lost in my head
Angst may be fashionable these days, but
I'd much rather be a happy geek

Friday, October 21st, 2005

(~Fade Away~)

Knowing eyes
Fatal Lies,
Closed ears,
Dried tears.

Can't you see
My eyes on thee?
My smile so slight,
Dim in the light.

Somehow you care,
Though you're rarely there,
Forever apart,
Surrendering heart.

You lash out,
Give a shout.
I understand what you've done.
Am I the only one?

Broken smiles worn,
Tortured heart torn,
We know not what to say,
As we slowly fade away.

December 06, 2004

(~Unfinished~)

So it has begun,
I can never tell
Everything you've done
Has made this living hell
...This is my farewell

I care about people,
Give them my advice
Look down from the steeple
Don't think twice
...This was the price

The bruises are faded
Since I can fight back
Souls have been traded
And since the attack
...my soul has been black

Sunday, September 11th, 2005

(~My Declaration~)

It was a constant sting with the blood seeping through
Her mind over flowing with thoughts of you
Stopping her breathing by choking on air
Too bad for her that life’s not fair…

*guitar opening*

What happened to the exultation?
What happened to the sweet salvation?
And looking at her new creation,
She abandons the blade in frustration….

Throb of the blood donation,
Brings to her a false elation,
Tracing this fresh split formation,
This is her foundation…

Veil it in a hidden location,
She doesn’t need the medication,
For this whole situation,
Everyone obsessed with discrimination.

Finally relaxed in this sensation
Somehow it always brings saccharine sedation
Give in to the sweet temptation
Your mind is on permanent vacation

Can you see the desperation
Staring closely in expectation
It is all misinterpretation
And process of elimination

*short musical piece*

There’s no explanation
Of this generation’s
Fascination
With isolation….

October 05 2005

Piczo